Dusty Trails
by griseousgrime
Summary: Dust hears word that his party and Yunyun's friend Megumin have gone missing after a dragon subjugation quest. Under less than fortunate circumstances, they decide they have to travel together.
1. Prologue - Harsh Wake-up Calls

This week has not been a good week. For one, that plain-looking guy I tried mooching money off of turned out to have some security guards stationed in the alleys. Then as if that wasn't enough, he also turned out to be a noble. Robbed me blind as he left me off in the prison cells. Stingy bastard. I'll think up some kind of revenge plan when I strike it rich some day.

Well, it's not like I'm not used to it. I've been in this situation a few times. I've made debts and enemies out of most business owners in Axel. The prison has practically got a spot reserved for me full-time at this point. Sure, the moss on the walls, the cold winds blowing in through the bars and the weird smell that some previous inmates probably left is a damper on the whole thing but beggars can't be choosers. Especially with the way my financial situation has gone. At least my sentence is pretty much up.

"Hey guardsman, get some actual grub for lunch this time! This slop you call food isn't fit for someone like me," I yell behind the bars. It's actually quite an art pissing the guards off just enough that it gives them a lasting impression. I can probably expect a slightly larger portion after this.

Or so I thought. This guard was probably having a bad day, because I could visibly see that blood vessel in his head pop. It's a good thing I spotted the door opening, that'll make for a good distraction. "Oh, looks like a visitor Mr. Guard! I'm sure you have better priorities to attend to," I announced.

"Hmph, you're lucky that damn law against prisoner violence exists," he replied. What a cocky guy.

To my surprise, the woman at the doorway wasn't the person who usually picks me up but a brunette with huge tits! She's got a gold pin in her hair, a black blouse accentuating her cleavage perf-

Oh wait it's just that brat Yunyun. My disappointment is almost palpable.

Wait no it's not, if she's here to get me out she's needs me for something. And if she needs me for something, that means I can make some cheap bucks! Looks like Eris' fortune smiled upon me today, because I smell money in the not so distant future.

"U-um... Excuse me! Have y-you seen Megumin!?" she almost shouted at the guard. What, so she's not here for me? Guess I'll turn in for a nap then.

It's a little odd that I haven't been picked up yet though. Normally Lynn'd make this one of her first stops when making the rounds, but it's already evening. This doesn't bode too well for the debts I have. I was hoping to sponge some cash off of her as I got released. You've got to make habits out of these things, otherwise you'll always have an empty wallet.

"Oh, so Dust-san is here too..." she said, eventually turning her attention to my cell.

"Hey hey, don't sound too disappointed now," I replied, mentally ignoring how disappointed I was at Yunyun's arrival. "So, you here to lend me some money? Or bust me out?"

"I wish you wouldn't act like I'm a part of your criminal activities!" she asserted. How rude. Friends are supposed to help each other aren't they?

"As much as both you and I hate pinning you two together," the guardsman started, "he has served his sentence. Be a dear and haul that trash out of here, would you little miss?"

Yunyun looked pretty shook at that comment. I can take advantage of that surprise though. "Wow Yunyun, you're a great friend! Got me out of there and everything, why don't we get a treat at a bar!" I exclaimed. Your treat, that is.

"Don't think I'll go along with what you said because you said we're friends!" she yelled.

* * *

In the end, we came to the guild's bar anyway.

Seriously, this brat is too undefended against suspicious requests. Someone should take on the duty of training her, because at this rate someone weird is gonna take her away. Good thing I'm such a noble person. Wait no, scratch that. Nobles are usually terrible people.

"Ah, good to be back," I beamed, taking glances at the scantily clad bar mistresses. "Oh, and by the way, I'm broke. I'm fully expecting you to foot the bill."

"Why did I even agree to take you here..." she mumbled.

"Because if you didn't, you'd probably be stuck building card fortresses or playing chess against yourself," I countered. Honestly, it was just sad watching it play out before me and Sir Vanir started working with her. "Life's gonna pass you by if you don't cut loose and actually start trying to make friends, you know?"

"I-I wasn't going to do that!" she yelled again. "And what makes you think I'll take any of your advice!?"

"Because if you get far in life thanks to my advice, you might repay me in huge fortunes!" I exclaimed. Whoops, I let my true thoughts leak out there.

"Uwaaa..." she drawled. Wait, don't look at me like that! What's wrong with wanting a couple thousand coins to do what I want with!? It's your fault for being so unambitious!

The adventurer's guild was just as rowdy as ever. Maybe even more rowdy than usual ever since I got done dealing with that mini destroyer. A motivation sapper is probably one of the more annoying magic concoctions I've had to deal with. Either way, it was business as slightly-better-than usual here at the guild. Wait, where's my party? Keith's a frequent at _that shop_, and Taylor's got his own appointments, but it's a bit of a surprise Lynn isn't here. Probably found herself some discount tomatoes somewhere.

Ah, tomatoes... Hold in your tears Dust, just don't remember that incident.

"So, what did you go to the prison guards for anyway? It was about the explosion girl, right?" I asked, barely remembering what she said there. Yunyun shifted a bit uncomfortably. Jokes were jokes, but now she had a bit of a worried expression on her face. I guess whatever she wanted at the prison was a bit more important than treating me to dinner, and I refuse to let that slide. What could be more important than helping me recover from jail time?

"Um... you see..." she fumbled. "Megumin went on a quest yesterday and hasn't come back..."

Right, that is pretty worrying. That loli could only cast one spell before falling flat on her ass when I adventured with her. I'm sure Kazuma is able to handle that situation though.

"And also," she continued, "she went along with your party. I-I was hoping you would know something, but you were in jail..."

"What? They left without me!?" I yelled angrily. Damn those guys! What kind of moneymaker did they find that they could leave me out of!? "So, what quest did they take then?"

"I-It was a quest to subjugate a dragon."


	2. Chapter 1 - Retreat and Preparation

Right, that should do it. I usually don't pack this thing when I'm out on quests, but I can't really slack here. When it comes to wild dragons, it's less than ideal to charge in without your best. I could probably handle it without equipment if it was already nestled. The one I found during the goblin subjugation wasn't that opposed. Still, an untrained dragon that already has adventurers coming after it probably means it's gonna be angry.

Of course, I'm still broke. The equipment's just stuff I haven't sold yet. It's a shame I don't have my helmet, but I don't think I'm getting it back. At least the guy who has it is willing to do a few favors for me.

The slip I'm taking on the other hand... let's just say it's a precaution.

Now then, I should also consider my route. Currently I'm stuck in the inn room. I rarely visit this place, because I know my debtors love to corner me. If I'm lucky, then they might have left the floor beneath the window clear.

The second upside to leaving by window is I know that brat is still in the guild hall waiting for me. I guarantee she doesn't have anything else to do. By exiting this way, I leave my debts unsettled for another day, show up that brat so she doesn't potentially get herself killed, and possibly get rewarded with more moolah by taking care of the dragon on my own. Three onion ducks with one stone.

Can't mess this up. I already died once.

I jump out the window frame. This'll be a quick run. Can't risk running into anyone who's got a grudge against me, so I'll take the alleys. While sprinting in the gate's direction, I slam into somebody. A little girl.

"Ow, geez that hurts..." she whimpers. Damn it, I know that voice. On any other day of the week I'd be asking for some cash after a run in like this.

"You can pay me back for crashing into me later Loli Succubus, I'm in a hurry!" I yelled, booking it.

"Eh, wait, Dust-san?" was all I heard as I kept running. Screw you instinct! I'll be sure to spend a nice evening with those lovely ladies later, just keep me away from that shop for now!

* * *

I've been excited about this for a while now. This is the first time I'm going on an expedition this high-level as a party! I might even be able to brag about becoming a dragon slayer after saving Megumin!

...That said, it has been about three hours since Dust-san went upstairs to prepare. And since then, some unsavory looking people have shown up in the guild asking for directions. I'm starting to have second thoughts about traveling with that guy.

"He's gone!? Check the rafters, he's hiding around here somewhere!" yelled a rather large man.

Eh? Are they talking about Dust-san? "H-hey, are you l-looking for Dust-san?" I stammered out.

"Yeah, that bastard's missing. He's probably trying to skip out on paying again!" the large man replied.

Oh. I see. So Dust-san skipped out on me. That's fine... I'm used to questing alone after all... actually, shouldn't I be helping him out here? These people look really mad at him...

Wait, what am I thinking? This is all his fault right?

"Say, you're the young lady he's been hanging around recently right? You should really cut ties with that gutter trash," he started, "he's gotten arrested more times than he's gone on quests."

"Ahahah... yeah..." was all I could manage.

Meanwhile, the receptionist Luna-san was desperately trying to get the adventurers' attention. "Please wait everyone, calm down! That lecher will be back once he runs out of whatever money he has," she announced, "so please wait until I contact you for his whereabouts!"

I-Is that really something a guild receptionist should be saying about their own adventurers?

Unaware of the chaos, a young girl walked in through the main doors and strode up to the counter. "Luna-san, do you know what quest Dust-san took before he left today?" she asked.

Oh, that looks like Lolisa! Ah, but it would probably burden her if I talked to her now...

"Ah, Yunyun-senpai!" she called. "Maybe you know something about this."

My new friend called me over! And she called me her senpai again! What do I do!? I'm happy but... ah, she's making her way over here anyway! Eheheh, senpai...

"Senpai? Are you okay?"

Ah, I should've been listening! "Yes! S-sorry! I'm listening!"

"Uh-huh. Anyway, I'm asking if you know what quest Dust-san took today."

"A quest? Dust-san took another quest?" I wondered. Backing out on a dragon was just like him, but why did he take another quest?

"Yeah, usually if we crash into each other he'll at least try to grope my butt or ask for a discount at the succu- err, acting cafe." she stated. "But this time he looked pretty serious and ran away after making some vague promise to repay him."

She's already confessing to the crimes Dust-san committed!?

I couldn't help but give her a pitying glare. "L-lolisa, it would probably be best if you got him kicked out of that acting cafe."

"Eh, what are you saying? Dust-san is one of our best customers," she stressed dryly, "and he does way more to my other coworkers."

H-he does!? Right, I should probably have expected him to fondle any girl he meets. But to even target someone like Lolisa, what kind of trash does he think he is!? I'm definitely not giving him my time of day anymore, next time he comes to me for money he's getting an earful instead!

Still, she did say he looked pretty serious when he ran her by. Did Dust-san leave me behind to deal with the dragon on his own? That doesn't sound like him. He'd sooner sell out his companions than risk his life for their sakes.

"Ah, he's probably trying to do the quest alone for a higher reward!" I exclaimed. There's no way he's prepared to fight a dragon. He's acting like an idiot as well as being scum! "S-Sorry Lolisa, I have to go!"

"Hey wait- Senpai!" she shouted after me as I ran through the doors.

* * *

"Achoo!"

Looks like someone's talking about me. I hope it's a beautiful lady this time, I've had enough of these guys that keep coming after me.

What a blunder I've made though. Running into Loli Succubus was not part of my plan. At least I've guaranteed some free compensation from her. I'm going to need those services good after this trip.

As for some other services that could be useful... well, it can't hurt to check. Plus I might get to see the actual owner's "assets" in person before she gets blasted for once. I pull the door handle with a faint creak.

In an instant, a shout came from behind the counter. "Fuhahahah! Were you expecting the useless shopkeeper's smile to greet you at the door? Too bad, it is only Moi!"

To my great sadness, Sir Vanir had already taken care of the shopkeeper and was currently sweeping her ashen body into a dustpan. Oh well, a guy can dream. With the assistance of some succubi, that is.

Sir's presence in this shop always struck me as a bit odd. I don't understand why he would willingly subject himself to this shopkeeper's supposed idiocy for so long. I'm sure a duke of hell has better things to do than to manage a magical item shop. It's slightly possible that Kazuma wasn't lying about the fact that the explosion loli managed to take him down a peg.

Oh right, that explosion loli's in trouble, along with Lynn. I shouldn't be dawdling like this.

I started inquiring, "Right, Sir, do you have any magical items I could use in combat? Ones that actually work?"

"What kind of magical shop would Moi own if Moi didn't have some perfectly suitable magical items for this task!" he countered. You don't own this shop though. "Unfortunately for you, Moi does not smell the stench of coin on thee. Moi does not run a charity shop, so you may only take one of the idiot shopkeeper's terrible purchases."

Well whatever, I'll take what I can get. Sir's a dangerous man to argue with. "What about this jarred gel then?" I inquired. It was a slightly translucent yellow, but was bubbling white from the bottom.

"A wonderfully forcible item! This jar contains a slime so potent that it will cause significant memory and motor loss to any living being it splashes on. Why, even Moi would take some damage from such an enemy!" he explained, pointing to the numerals on his mask.

"...And the downside?"

"This slime also evaporates near instantaneously outside the light of a cavern. Moi would say that particular slime should have a lifespan of about three days before it shrivels and dies," he further clarified. "More importantly, Moi imagines such a dangerous creature would be kept under lock and key in the capital. To be frank, it is quite unlawful that the slime is here in the first place."

That definitely does sound like something those guys at the capital would do. I don't know how I feel about handling some supposedly super illegal item though. "Well, I'll still take it since it's free. Maybe I can con someone into buying it if it survives this trip." I concluded. This was a damn dangerous item to be handling willy nilly, so I stuffed it in my pack.

"A marvelous idea, and one Moi might recommend as well!" the devil delighted, "But for taking such a troublesome item of Moi's hands, Moi has one more bit of insight for the delinquent to heed."

Now this couldn't be anything good. Anything Sir's willing to divulge about my future's bound to be about something I did before I came here. But I'm not about to decline the offer. Free's as cheap as you can go, and Sir's advice is about as good as I can get. He's the one that understands me the most, after all. I turned to face him on the way to the door.

"Thy expedition's terminus shall not come so easily as the rest," he continued, "Before you may find that which thee seek, a second half will be required. Thy quest may require confession.

"Or so Moi says, not that you will understand! Fuhahahah!"

I already have no clue what he's talking about. Sir is dubious, but at least he's graspable most of the time. A second half? Do I need to get the dragon's help finding them? Probably means his lair is somewhere high up. And "confession"? I'm already practically the most pious follower in Axel! I thank Eris that the succubus shop exists every day!

"Uh, thank you Sir. I'll keep it in mind then," I say, walking out and hearing the door creak behind me.

I shouldn't have stayed to listen to that foresight. Now this foreboding feeling's never going to go away.


	3. Chapter 1 - Intermission

In a land much farther from home, between steep canyons and cold cliffs, I've shot my dazzling explosion for the day. I'm sure if Kazuma were here, he'd grade it at least at 93 points. My temporary companions on the other hand were less than impressed.

"Look," came a response from the carefree-looking archer Keith, "I get you're proud of your firepower and all, but you going limp here is really gonna shoot our chances of getting off this mountain in the foot."

"Nicely punned," was the dry reply that Lynn, my fellow female mage cohort resounded.

"Right? I thought so myself."

"Hmph, such comments are unnecessary," I furthered, "Even I could tell that abomination was not worthy of standing before my explosion magic!"

"Yes," echoed the gruff voice of our leader Taylor, "so please save your magic for an actually strong opponent next time. Like the dragon we're supposed to be facing. The reason we took you along."

He doesn't have to get all sour-faced about it. It was just a little explosive venting, what's the big deal?

"I can still hear you guys you know!?" screeched a voice from within the smoke. That necromancer's still alive?

"You'll regret taking one of the demon army's strongest lightly, I-"

"Right, right," interrupted Lynn, "I'm sure you're great and all, but we didn't really come here for you."

"E-eh? You didn't?"

"No, we're here on a dragon hunt. There's supposed to be a small blue one around here."

"A small dragon, eh... they do keep their young in the caves north of here," he pondered.

"Really? Thanks, we'll head there then!"

What a good guy, he helped us find our objective. "You were a nice skeleton after all," I commented.

"A-aw shucks guys, it was nothing..."

With that said and done, we picked ourselves up and headed on. Well, someone else picked me up anyway. This quest was going to be over in a flash.

"Wait no, as if I'll let you guys off that easy!" he hollered, "Rib Cage!"

A pillar of bones shot out of the ground in a circle around us, caging us in. Crap, he might still be mad about my explosion...

"I'll forgive you bastards for that stunt you pulled as long as you leave that girl behind!"

Something tells me I won't be going home just yet.


	4. Chapter 2 - Chicken Feet

The guard I'm expecting is still standing at the gate. Serves you guys right for arresting me on sight so often, I've figured out your general patrol schedule perfectly. I won't have to do the same song and dance with this guy, he's not as uptight as some of these guys can be. It's still best to go with a plan though, so I muster up my best drunken swagger as I walk towards him. This is just step one: lowering their guard.

Making sure my gait's wobbly enough, I slur out, "Hey guardsman, working hard or hardly working? Ahahahah!"

"Who- oh, it's just you Dust," he replied, "what do you want then? Are you here to finally pay the money you owe me?"

"Come on now, what's a bit of money between close friends?" I say. I can see that look in his eyes, he probably only thinks of me as an acquaintance. Hopefully that's baited him enough that he'll drop the topic. "Say, let me through will ya? I found a new quest that's bound to help me strike it rich!"

The guard gave me an arid glare, before smirking a bit. "I'm not sure it would be a good idea to let you loose without your guardian."

This arrogant bastard. Don't you realize how rare an occasion this is? The great Dust-sama has taken a break from convincing people to finish some dangerous request, and I'm still getting treated like a criminal. Shows how much your hard work goes for around here.

I guess this means I'm not getting around it. The slip I packed will have to go anyway. It took almost a week to perfect too.

Slipping back into my drunken slur, I calmly walk up to the guard and pat his shoulder. "It's fine, I'll be fine," I insisted, slapping his shoulder a few extra times for emphasis, "we guys gotta help each other out in times like these!"

I discreetly started drawing the slip out.

"Stop, being put into the same group as you just sends shivers up my spine. In fact, you're probably just looking to... do something..."

He stuttered and froze upon seeing the slip I'd been flashing from my pocket. It read "**[ONE FREE WEEKEND OF SERVICE]**" in big bold letters. Next to it was a minimalist design of a pink heart with bat wings. Any true man from this town will know what that symbol means.

"...You can pass," the guard quietly murmured. After a bit, the large wooden doors ground open. And with that, I've secured my exit.

"Hey... this isn't even the real voucher! I thought it was suspicious when you gave me something for free, you damned lowlife!"

Someone's shouting behind me, but the gate's already open so I don't really care. Shame that the fake voucher got found out so quickly. Eris as my witness, one day I will find out how they manage that fading double image card trick.

* * *

I've been looking around town for a while, but there's been no trace of him in any of the shops. Surely Dust-san would try to stock up before a dragon raid? Or at least inadvertently cause enough havoc with one of the shopkeepers before he left?

Honestly, he causes too much trouble for his own good. I have to endure the clerks asking me whether he has something on me or if I'm trying to become some kind of delinquent!

After checking everywhere else, my final stop is Wiz's shop.

"Welcome!" rings a woman's voice as I step inside. "Ah, Yunyun-san!"

I come buy magical items from here all the time. I have to find something that I can trump Megumin at, and I'm definitely not giving up until I've found it! S-still, it's a little embarrassing when I get treated like a repeat customer.

"So Yunyun-san, what are you looking for today? Could you be after more magic items by any chance?" Wiz asked.

"Ah, no, that's not," I began, but couldn't finish.

"I see, I see! In that case, we have a lot more unique objects on our shelves that you can help with!"

Ah, it's already started... I am a little interested, but it's hard to stop her now. I wouldn't want her to feel like she wasted my time...

My bag slowly began to pile up with all kinds of different items. I guess I could afford it with all the requests I've done, but I've never actually needed to use them when adventuring. Maybe I should be taking on harder requests, but then it'd probably bother the higher level adventurers in Axel.

...Not that there are many, but it's always good to be considerate!

"Oi Wiz! Is this how you treat your guests?" a blue haired priest cried from the corner of the store. "I still haven't gotten any tea!"

"I-I'm sorry Aqua-sama! I'll get it for you right away, so please wait a little!"

Ah, she left! How am I going to find Dust-san now? I have no one else to ask! Should I just go for it on my own? No, that would be too dangerous, but still...

"Hey, you."

"Aaah! Yes! Who is it!" I startled. Aqua-san was calling out to me.

"You're Megumin's... something or other, right?" She began. Haha... I guess this is how it is being unmemorable. "You're troubled right now, right? Why don't you confess your troubles to me? I, as a Goddess, can help right your path!"

Aaah, I really don't want to get into this right now. I have nothing against Axis cultists, but I feel like this will bite me back if I continue. No, I shouldn't approach this that way. Listening to your concerns is something friends do right? I might have one more by the end of this, even if she doesn't even remember my name right now!

"Well, have you seen Dust-san? He's a blonde adventurer wearing a red jacket."

A few seconds passed.

"Well, as the Axis cult teaches, it's best to go find the answers of your own volition."

...I knew this wouldn't help. "Well, thanks for the advice..." I spun as I stood up to leave.

"Wait, wait!" Aqua-san yelped as she lept at me. "Don't just leave like that, doesn't this look like I didn't help you at all!? Acknowledge my efforts in advising you!"

"Y-you were a great help Aqua-san, please just let me go!"

"No!" she bawled. "Praise me more!"

* * *

And here she is, my final trump card. It's pretty hard to score a ride nowadays. You'd think any service would be good service, especially towards someone as great as me, but there are a lot of cheapskates in this town. Good thing I can always count on that helmeted bastard, as long as I ignore his ill vibes.

That being said, I still have no clue where I'm headed. Depending on the dragon, they can get pretty migratory. Maybe I should've studied the request details better.

Sucks that the guardsman at the gate got mad at me. Honestly, some people can't take a good joke. Thanks to him, I'm already smack dab in the middle of the plains, where monsters could attack me at any moment. And he calls himself a protector of peace? For shame.

"Wait just a minute!" a brat yelled from behind me. Agh, this is just not my day.

"What is it? I don't have any money to lend you," I coolly replied. Leave it to the brat with no friends to not know how to take a hint.

"How could you leave me behind like that, Dust-san?! You're horrible!" she bawled.

"Oh shut it. As if a pubescent brat like you could handle a dragon. Hey, if you go home I'll introduce you to some buddies I know later."

"Y-you must think I'm an idiot if you think that'll make me leave!"

Damn it, she's not taking the bait.

"I looked all over town for you, you know! You promised to do this together with me!"

If I was a lesser man, I would be done in by that. Those are some damn provocative words you're spitting Yunyun, but I'm a master at provocation. Still, she should really think before speaking. Who knows who she might unknowingly seduce? I mean, she's definitely developed the figure for it.

"It's a shame the inside is so undeveloped..."

"H-huh!?"

Oops, I said that out loud. Ah who am I kidding, she probably doesn't have any other male friends she could give those lines to.

"Uwah, s-stop smiling so creepily Dust-san!"

"Look, this expedition is for seasoned veterans like myself. Greenhorns like you should just stay home," I continued, "I bet you didn't even bring anything useful."

"O-of course I did!" she sputtered, "I'll have you know I stocked fully in Wiz's shop before coming here!"

I know that look on her face. She probably just took a bunch of magic items without caring about what they did.

"Like... t-this Vanir doll! Or this blue pipe looking thing!"

"You should really sit this one out. Aren't there some goblins you can atomize somewhere?"

"No!" she fumed, "Megumin might be in trouble and I... I have to go!"

Stop looking at me all determinedly like that. You're not gonna...

…

"Fine, let's get a move on then," I yielded, "I have a horse over here that..."

Ran away. You're testing my faith here Eris.


End file.
